14-11-2020

I had my first time, being so guilty to seeing another guy.
While I’m so into him.

And it’s my very first time, to ask advice from my bestie. Whether or not to meet others for date-kind-activities.
“He is not making any commitment. You still can opt for other options”
Which is so true.
So I went on to the date. And thinking, how if he asks me tat how I spent my sat? shld I tell the truth?

I am always afraid that he will hold other gals’ hand. Like the way he holds my hand.
Becoz he knew that I hold others on his back.
Babe I’m sorry. I just wanna know what’s the diff between you and them.
I hope he won’t do that out of revenge purpose. Pray to God hard hard.
Again, he is not making any confession. **Why do I care him so much? **

And he was so cute worrying about my past frenship/relationship.
That isn’t the things he should worry about.
I appreciate my old boys. But the threats are those new boys.
I surprised I am making effort for avoiding the new boys to participate in my life. I’m killing my options for an unsecure relationship.
I have never ever closed my door whilst on dating with my ex-es.
He has got his bonus by doing nothing!

So sorry to limmy. He taught me a lots but nothing I have used on him.
I’m so failed to be a gal. I’m so weak in front of him pretending I’m strong.
FML….